This past week my family went to Nashville for a little vacation at the Gaylord Opryland Resort. Now, don’t go thinking we’re fancy people who get to go to “resorts” all the time. Mom actually won the trip. But that’s not entirely accurate either. Mom won tickets to an Eric Church concert … whoever that is … and traded them up for a two-night stay at Opryland. Obviously a better deal but I’m getting off track …
So the boy and I descended on Opryland for three days and two nights of walking, walking and more walking. And some fun mixed in there between all the walking.
Let me tell you … those people were not prepared for us. We got a lot of God bless yous. I guess they thought a family with a skeleton needed a little extra heavenly love. Or maybe it’s just a southern thing.
So along with our vacation package we got a ton of free tickets to cool holiday events. One of them being ICE! (That’s right. All caps. Exclamation point.)
Welcome to ICE! featuring ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas and nine degrees of frozen winter wonderland. Nine degrees. Just let that sink in for a minute. Nine degrees …
Want to know what nine degrees looks like?
This is what nine degrees looks like. His face says it all.
Fortunately everyone is issued a calf-length parka but lets face it, they’re mostly doing that for liability reasons. “Come get frostbite at ICE!!” doesn’t exactly have a nice ring to it.
But I’ll tell you, room after room made entirely out of ice, with accents made from ice, housing creatures and objects made entirely from ice is a really amazing thing to see. Two million pounds of ice were used in the making of ICE! That’s 1,000 tons of ice. Those walls? Ice. The banisters? Ice! The Christmas tree? ICE! Okay, I’m starting to see why they made the show title capitalized.
Noticed I was not issued a parka. Discrimination? I think so.
But the best part about ICE! were the ice slides. Here’s me and my boy taking our first crack at the frozen half-pipe.
My boy obviously enjoyed it but look at me. LOOK AT MY LEGS! That’s why I aptly named the slide the Conduit of Dislocation. A few seniors in our tour group learned this lesson too. Those bus tours for the elderly really draw a wild crowd. You think I’m kidding but I’m not.
My boy made me slide with mom the third time down. I think it’s written in her genetic code to squeal on rides. Try going to an amusement park with this woman.
Here’s a before and after of a toy ice soldier. But the most impressive part was the crystal clear nativity scene.
Nothing says Christmas like a frozen baby Jesus … or a blow up baby Jesus.
"And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.” Luke 2: 9-14
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