Maybe You Haven't Noticed ...

But it’s almost Christmas Eve. I don’t even know how this happened. It’s one of those time warp scenarios in which you’re throwing out rotten pumpkins and raiding the Halloween candy stashed above the fridge one minute and the next, you’re looking down the barrel of Christmas wondering if you have everything done. 

Probably another reason it doesn’t feel like Christmas is because a plague has descended upon our house like something from the book of Exodus. I’ll spare you the details but know this, if there was an award for most puked on surfaces in a home, our family would win. Hands down.

So to get myself back in the Christmas spirit I’ve been combing through some photos taken earlier this month and I thought I’d share them with you.

 

The Christmas Tree

Aaah, the annual decorating of the Christmas tree! Definitely means something different when you live with a 3-year-old … like nothing made from glass on the lower 3 feet of the tree. It also means that strange objects will appear on the tree throughout the Christmas season. For example, we’ve had squishy skeletons, cereal bars and used tissues (not to mention all the various toys that have become ‘decorations’).

With all the skeletons that were appearing on the tree, mom felt it was only right that they should have a proper home there in the form of a Christmas ornament. I give you the skeleton ornament:

 

The Big Man In Red

We ran into Santa a lot this year, at least a half dozen times. We weren’t even looking for him, he just happened to be around every single corner.

This was the only time we actually sought out Santa and he sure didn’t disappoint. Candy cane? Check! Rosy cheeks? Check! Fully attached beard? Check! Jolly nature? You bet!

But Santa did get one mark against him in Ethan’s book. He said skeletons were scary. Whoops.

Ethan set him straight real quick on that matter though. “He not scary. He my fwiend. He nice!” I guess even Santa has lessons to learn.

Every time we ran into Santa, my boy asked for the same thing: A dinosaur skeleton. Imagine that. Something skeletal. 

 

Candy Cane Express

Earlier this month we took in a show by the Evansville Philharmonic  called the Candy Cane Express. It’s a sweet and to the point Christmas show designed specially for children. This was their second year for the show and if you’re in the area next year, take your kids or grand-kids. It’s totally worth it.

He’s so thoughtful. He knows how much I love the toy soldier routine. Not on par with The Rockettes but let’s face it, who is?

We even met up with some friends at the show! My boy lucked out this go around with Santa … no room on the lap. Not every kid can be so lucky.

Ethan & Skully Take On Nashville: Part 1

This past week my family went to Nashville for a little vacation at the Gaylord Opryland Resort. Now, don’t go thinking we’re fancy people who get to go to “resorts” all the time. Mom actually won the trip. But that’s not entirely accurate either. Mom won tickets to an Eric Church concert … whoever that is … and traded them up for a two-night stay at Opryland. Obviously a better deal but I’m getting off track …

So the boy and I descended on Opryland for three days and two nights of walking, walking and more walking. And some fun mixed in there between all the walking.

Let me tell you … those people were not prepared for us. We got a lot of God bless yous. I guess they thought a family with a skeleton needed a little extra heavenly love. Or maybe it’s just a southern thing.

So along with our vacation package we got a ton of free tickets to cool holiday events. One of them being ICE! (That’s right. All caps. Exclamation point.)

Welcome to ICE! featuring ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas and nine degrees of frozen winter wonderland. Nine degrees. Just let that sink in for a minute. Nine degrees …

Want to know what nine degrees looks like? 

This is what nine degrees looks like. His face says it all.

Fortunately everyone is issued a calf-length parka but lets face it, they’re mostly doing that for liability reasons. “Come get frostbite at ICE!!” doesn’t exactly have a nice ring to it. 

But I’ll tell you, room after room made entirely out of ice, with accents made from ice, housing creatures and objects made entirely from ice is a really amazing thing to see. Two million pounds of ice were used in the making of ICE! That’s 1,000 tons of ice. Those walls? Ice. The banisters? Ice! The Christmas tree? ICE! Okay, I’m starting to see why they made the show title capitalized. 

Noticed I was not issued a parka. Discrimination? I think so. 

But the best part about ICE! were the ice slides. Here’s me and my boy taking our first crack at the frozen half-pipe. 

My boy obviously enjoyed it but look at me. LOOK AT MY LEGS! That’s why I aptly named the slide the Conduit of Dislocation. A few seniors in our tour group learned this lesson too. Those bus tours for the elderly really draw a wild crowd. You think I’m kidding but I’m not.

My boy made me slide with mom the third time down. I think it’s written in her genetic code to squeal on rides. Try going to an amusement park with this woman. 

Here’s a before and after of a toy ice soldier. But the most impressive part was the crystal clear nativity scene.

Nothing says Christmas like a frozen baby Jesus … or a blow up baby Jesus. 

"And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.” Luke 2: 9-14 

Table For One ...

Shortly after taking this photo, my boy stood up and yelled, “Don’t touch my privates!!” Someone was touching his belly. As if the child-size skeleton wasn’t enough to make people stare …